If It's Hip, It's Here (Archives): humor

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Celebrity Cavemen. 20 Famous Folks As Neanderthals.

above: Caveman Willem Dafoe

While most sports fans will be busy watching large men grunt as they play the NFL Championship game tomorrow, I thought I'd introduce you to a different sort of Troglodyte today: the celebrity caveman.

The following images are entries by various computer artists from six different Worth1000 Effects contests in which they were asked to combine Celebrities with Neanderthals using Photoshop and/or other effects software.

Gene Hackman:

George Clooney:

Morgan Freeman:

Tommy Lee Jones:

Hugh Laurie:

Snoop Lion:

Kate Winslet:

Nick Nolte:

Al Pacino:

Sean Connery:

Robert deNiro:

Daniel Craig:

Harrison Ford:

Shakira:

Will Smith:

Jake Gyllenhall:

Tobey Maguire:

Sean Penn:

Danny Trejo:

I chose the above twenty images from six different Celebrity Neanderthal Contests from the past three years on Worth1000, the most recent of which ended about 3 weeks ago. My selection was based on the executions or humor quotient. Several entries were poorly executed, some looked like trolls and still others like zombies. I chose what I personally felt were the 20 most entertaining. Please note: these images have been cropped for better visibility and therefore are missing the Worth1000 watermark.

To see all of the original entries in the contests, visit the following links (there does not seem to be a 4th contest despite the numbered names):
Celebrity Neaderthals 1
Celebrity Neaderthals 2
Celebrity Neaderthals 3
Celebrity Neanderthals 5
Celebrity Neaderthals 6
Celebrity Neaderthals 7

About Worth1000
Worth1000 is the top creative contest site in the world. Every day they run lots of creative competitions of all types, including Effects contests (otherwise known as photochop or photoshop contests), photography contests, illustration contests, writing contests and more forms of multimedia.

Newcastle's Mega Huge Super Bowl Ad Campaign For The Mega Huge Super Bowl Ads They Didn't Make.

In a clever twist on being clever, Newcastle Ale (which is owned by Heineken) has launched a Mega Huge anti-Super Bowl Ad campaign mocking the fact that they didn't create a mega Huge Super Bowl ad campaign. With tongue-in-cheek banners, a website and a series of videos, they manage to make fun of everything related to Super Bowl advertising through the creative process, the focus group research, the teaser/trailer/making of phenomenon, the would-be pitchmen: Anna Kendrick and Keyshawn Johnson and of course, the prohibitive cost.

Here is the full campaign (thus far) followed by the press release:

The banner:

Their Facebook Page cover photo:

Their website home page:

The 9 funny videos below are shown in the order in which they were released:

1,. The Ad Newcastle made to prepare you for the ad they didn't make:

2. Newcastle's Cheap Ad they made for the pricey ad they didn't make:

3. The Teaser for the Trailer for Newcastle's Mega Huge Football Game Ad.
It's so epic, they made a trailer for the trailer:

4. The Official Stock Footage Trailer for the Mega Huge Football Game Ad they didn't make:

5. Newcastle's Mega Huge Football Ad Focus group:

6. Actual focus groups react to the Mega Football Ad they didn't make:

7. Keyshawn Johnson: Behind The Scenes of the Mega Huge Football Ad they almost made:

8. Anna Kendrick: Behind The Scenes of the Mega Huge Football Ad they almost made:

9 IT'S OFFICIAL: Real Focus Groups gave Newcastle's Mega Huge Football Game Ad a Mega Huge Score:

A 10th video is expected soon:

The Press Release:

Newcastle Brown Ale taps Anna Kendrick and Keyshawn Johnson to star in the greatest Big Game ad never made

Actress and singer Anna Kendrick has racked up an impressive string of triumphs: Oscar, Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild nominations for her performance in “Up in the Air;” a starring role in the hit film “Pitch Perfect;” and most recently with her 2013 triple-platinum single, “Cups.” But she will never get the chance to play what might have been her greatest role yet: the lead in an epic, Big Game spot for Newcastle Brown Ale.

It’s too bad Newcastle doesn’t believe in spending millions on a Mega Huge Football Game ad because it would have been amazing. Instead, Kendrick and football legend Keyshawn Johnson are taking center stage in a tongue-in-cheek marketing effort dubbed “If We Made It” that pokes fun at the ridiculous excess, overused schtick and over-the-top antics found in traditional Big Game commercials.

Newcastle may not be making the ad, but fortunately fans will be able to see all the trailers, storyboards, focus groups and behind-the-scenes interviews with Kendrick and Johnson at www.IfWeMadeIt.com. There also will be fresh content posted in real-time on the day of the Big Game.

“We think the formula for creating the most epic Big Game commercial of all time is pretty simple, but when it comes down to it, we’d rather have people drink our beer while watching other companies’ ads,“ said Charles van Es, senior brand director for Newcastle Brown Ale. “And to be honest, we don’t really have the money or permission to advertise on the game either.”

What did the world miss when Newcastle decided to keep its focus on making great beer instead of spending millions on making outlandish ads? Giant robots, beach babes and crazy celebrity cameos – as well as Kendrick starring as Hot Party Girl #1 and Johnson voicing a skateboarding cat.

“It’s a shame Newcastle didn’t have the budget to actually produce and air this ad. I was really looking forward to a huge paycheck for doing no real work at all,” said Anna Kendrick. “Indie cred from award-winning films is great and all, but I can’t buy a new car with indie cred.”

“Newcastle asked me to be in its Big Game ad, and I wish they would’ve made it, because I truly believe it would’ve been the greatest football-related thing I’ve ever done,” said Keyshawn Johnson. “For years, I’ve dreamed of voicing a skateboard-riding cat in a beer commercial, and thanks to Newcastle, I nearly achieved that oddly specific goal.”

Fans can join in on the fun at www.IfWeMadeIt.com or by following Newcastle on Facebook and Twitter, where they’ll find a variety of humorous content related to the astonishing Big Game ad that would have blown the world’s mind – everything except the ad, of course.

The program was created in partnership with Droga5 and is part of Newcastle’s long-running “No Bollocks” campaign, which takes a lighthearted, no-nonsense, honest approach to marketing by shining a light on the silly, stale and sometimes deceptive clichés often found in beer advertising.

www.IfWeMadeIt.com

Not For Metrosexuals or Euro Trash, The Duke Cannon Supply Co. Caters To The Manliest of Men.

I'd never heard about the Duke Cannon Supply Co. until my friend Joel posted one of their "Big Ass Bricks Of Soap" on Facebook. Intrigued and amused by the "Smells like naval supremacy." line and the great bold package design, I did some research. I was thrilled to find their site peppered with a great sense of humor as well as some very fun, albeit über-Macho, Military-inspired grooming products for men.

The Chicago-based company's products make you smell and feel laden with testosterone , while also helping out military veterans. A portion of the proceeds directly supports Veteran causes. For more details on that, go here.

above: Their manifesto of sorts, as it appears on their home page.

With legit military guidance and an industrial design flavor, the brand offers 5 different Duke Cannon Soaps (there's even a set available with a hatchet), two shampoos and shaving cream. The copy on the packaging is smart and witty and not for pansies or those who expect to be pampered.

I had to include their clever descriptions along with their product images for you.

BIG ASS BRICKS OF SOAP

This soap product is designed to meet the high standards of hard working men who want to get clean & smell good without using feminine shower gels and accessories. This product is modeled after the rough cut, "brick" style of soap used by GIs during the Korean War and is manufactured in the same plant that was the primary supplier of military soap for over 20 years.

Big Ass Brick Of Soap - Black Bar 3-pack

Smells like accomplishment.
This new soap product from Duke cannon Supply Co. is designed to meet the high standards of hard working men. The incredibly masculine scent of bergamot and black pepper evokes the feeling of drinking a fine scotch in a wood-paneled den. Simply put, it is the scent of accomplishment. Like all Duke Cannon soap products, each brick is large (10 oz.) and contains steel cut grains for maximum grip.

Big Ass Brick of Soap - Green Bar 3-pack

Smells like Victory.
The Duke Cannon Supply Co. Big ass brick of soap is designed to meet the high standards of hard working men who want to get clean and smell good without using feminine shower gels and accessories. True to its name, our soap is big (10 oz.) and will last much longer than the chick-sized bars in your local grocery. It also smells awesome (clean, fresh scent) and contains steel cut grains for maximum gripability. If you enjoy activities like drinking american beer or using power tools, then frankly, this is the only soap meant for you.

Big Ass Brick Of Soap - White Bar 3-pack

Smells like productivity
For the early rising man who leads a life of productivity, duke cannon created a soap with a hint of menthol to cool the skin and wake him up so he can get things done. This new superior grade product from duke cannon has a fresh mint smell and contains steel cut grains for maximum grip. Net wt. 10 oz.

Big Ass Brick of Soap - Blue "Naval Supremacy" 3-Pack

Smells like naval supremacy.
Introducing the latest home run from Duke Cannon. While other blue soaps are named "Ocean Force" or "Summer Mist," our blue soap is the only one big enough to be named "Naval Supremacy." With a package sporting the official colors of the U.S. Navy, this superior grade product weighs in at a hefty 10 oz. and has steel cut grains for maximum grip.

Duke Cannon Heavy Duty Hand Soap 3 Pack

Duke Cannon doesn't spend all day typing emails on a laptop. And he damn well sure has never gotten a manicure. His hands build tangible things like v8 engines and two story decks. And hard work makes hands dirty. That's why duke cannon offers a heavy duty hand soap, a rough cut brick formulated with pumice to clean the hands of hard working men. It is modeled after heavy duty soap supplied to GIs during the Vietnam war. Like all duke cannon bricks of soap, this one weighs in at a hefty 10 oz., almost 2x the size of other pumice soaps.

Duke Cannon "El Cuatro" 4 Ct. Variety Pack

We understand it can be difficult to choose among victory, productivity, accomplishment, and naval supremacy. Hell, they all sound good, and they certainly are. Therefore, hedge your bet by purchasing this 4 ct. "El Cuatro" variety pack, featuring one each of our outstanding big ass bricks of soap. You will never get a better smelling package in the mail.

Limited Edition U.S. Military Field Box Gift Pack

Back by popular demand. While clown soaps offer a free loofa, The Duke Cannon Gift Pack offers a Variety Pack of 5 Big Ass Bricks of soap (one of each variety + one heavy duty hand soap), and an authentic Military Field Box used to carry .30 Cal Ammunition. These cans are reusable and watertight and they make for great hunting/camping storage cans or the greatest lunch pail ever. And, as a nominal bonus, we are offering a free Stanley Screwdriver, proudly made in the USA like all Duke cannon products
NOTE: CANS ARE IN USED CONDITION, AND THEREFORE HAVE DENTS AND SCRATCHES.

The American Soap and Hatchet Set

Duke Cannon’s American Soap & Hatchet Set is to be used by workers, explorers, and craftsmen—NOT FOR CLOWNS. Each item has been built for general purpose use or combat, as needed:
• Duke Cannon Hatchet made of razor sharp US steel forged to genuine American hickory
- Color: Stealth
- Specs: 19oz head weight, 18” handle length
- Each Duke Cannon Hatchet is hand crafted, so no two are exactly the same
• Carhartt IFD Cold-Weather Skull Cap. Protects against all elements. Not to be worn by guys named Skyler when the weather reads above 50 degrees. IMPORTED FROM DETROIT.
All Five Big Ass Bricks of Duke Cannon soap:
- Smells Like Victory
- Smells Like Accomplishment
- Smells Like Productivity
- Smells Like Naval Supremacy
- Heavy Duty Hand Soap

HAIR PRODUCTS:

Duke Cannon 2-in-1 Hair Wash - Hard-Working Clean

Duke Cannon has little patience for skinny jeans, veggie burgers, or products of inferior quality. His new Hard-Working Clean 2-in-1 Hair Wash has been engineered with only Superior Grade ingredients:
- Protein for strength
- Vitamin E for antioxidant protection
- Vitamin B5 for conditioning
- No harsh sulfates or parabens
Duke Cannon 2-in-1 Hair Wash is for men of higher taste, not clowns.

Duke Cannon 2-in-1 Hair Wash - Thickening Formula

For "News Anchor Thick" Hair
Duke Cannon has no interest in salads, male capri pants, or products of inferior quality. His new Thickening Formula 2-in-1 Hair Wash has been engineered with Superior Grade ingredients:
- Protein for strength
- Tea Tree Oil and Menthol to wake you up
- Vitamin B5 for conditioning
- No harsh sulfates or parabens
Duke Cannon 2-in-1 Hair Wash is for men of higher taste, not clowns.

SHAVING CREAM

Superior Grade Shaving Cream

If left untouched for three days, Duke Cannon's beard would grow a beard. Therefore, he needs a shaving product that will clean him up without the burn. His barbershop formula shaving cream is engineered with only Superior Grade ingredients:
- Aloe Vera for relief
- Shea Butter for hydration
- Macadamia Nut Oil for the closest possible shave
- Calendula Extract for recovery
Duke Cannon Superior Grade Shaving Cream is for men of higher taste, not clowns.

ASSORTED KITS

Duke Cannon Class VI Supply Kit 1.0

Like a set of tools for the bathroom, the Duke Cannon Class VI Supply Kit contains grooming essentials for the man of higher taste. The clear gift box contains:
- Super Grade 2-in-1 Hair Wash (Hard-Working Clean) (10 oz.)
- Superior Grade Shaving Cream
- Big Ass Brick of Soap (Smells Like Victory)
- Big Ass Brick of Soap (Smells Like Naval Supremacy)
The chances of a man returning that sweater from Express? Pretty high. The chances of returning this collection of home runs from Duke Cannon? Pretty damn low. For excellent giving, consider the Class VI Supply Kit.

Duke Cannon Class VI Supply Kit 2.0

Like a set of tools for the bathroom, the Duke Cannon Class VI Supply Kit contains grooming essentials for the man of higher taste. The clear gift box contains:
- Super Grade 2-in-1 Hair Wash (Thickening Formula) (10 oz.)
- Superior Grade Shaving Cream
- Big Ass Brick of Soap (Smells Like Productivity)
- Big Ass Brick of Soap (Smells Like Accomplishment)
The chances of a man returning that sweater from Express? Pretty high. The chances of returning this collection of home runs from Duke Cannon? Pretty damn low. For excellent giving, consider the Class VI Supply Kit.

CUSTOMER REWARDS

As if buying these fun and unique products weren't enough, they offer customer 'rewards'- very macho types of items. As they hilariously state on their site:
"If you buy lots of Duke Cannon Supply Company products, you get free stuff. Not stupid crap you don't need. Instead, we offer items that are Duke Cannon certified -- actual things he likes and uses. So save your UPCs, and when you have enough, email us at the address below, tell us what you want, and we'll send you some useful stuff."

Shop Duke Cannon Supply Co.

Buy Duke Cannon Soaps here as well

20 Pairs Of Witty Socks Give You A Leg Up On Attitude.

20 new wickedly fun pairs of cotton blended socks say what you probably can't. Sarcastic and mostly bitter, the colored socks come in designs broken into 4 different general styles, with 5 styles in each category. Retro illustrated socks featuring people with fun sayings, bright colors with graphics and fun sayings, plaid floral socks with the sayings on a hang tag, and socks that mix tools and construction items with flowers and fun sayings.